First of all, you have no idea how excited I am that one of my blog posts is named directly after an episode of Friends, the season four premier, to be exact.
I’m currently in a major transition point in my life right now. Exactly one year from now, I will have been graduated from college with my Bachelor’s in Communication and Spanish, and I totally know what I’m going to do when I graduate.
No I don’t. I don’t have a clue.
Do I go on to grad school? Do I make the transition to Bethel Redding for BSSM? Do I take the opportunity to live at Heidi Baker’s orphanage in Mozambique for a few months after school, should I get accepted to the program? Should I apply for PR positions here in San Antonio? Should I have already been applying for the positions? When do my loan payments kick in?
So many questions. These questions would come up at the most inconvenient of times, too. I would ask myself these questions in the green room minutes before the team would go out to lead a worship set. I’d ask myself these questions on the bus to school and miss my stop cause I was so caught up in my thoughts. I’d ask myself these questions while laying in bed and think about them for two to three hours before falling asleep each night.
All of these thoughts and questions have been overwhelming. It seems as though they’ve constantly been in the back of my mind for months now.
All of this leads up to this past weekend. Every year now for the past four years, my friends and I take a small trip to Port Aransas for a few days to have fun and unwind. Those that know me, know my love and affection that I have for the beach. It’s my favorite place.
My friends and I always have fun on the trip. The drive down to the coast usually consists of dumb road games and blaring country music. We usually run around, play soccer, swim in the waves, build bonfires…all of that is well and good, but I ALWAYS make it a point to break away from the group for about an hour or so to take a walk from our tent to the pier down the beach. And I always underestimate the time and distance from our tent to the pier.
It was sunset; the Golden Hour, as photographers call it. The wind was blowing and causing bigger swells than usual, and in the distance, a lightning storm was shrouding the horizon is deep, dark clouds. I walked barefoot along the water’s edge, just at the point where the waves pass the baton to the sand, and I was telling Him all that was on my mind. The swells continued to grow, the wind grew stronger, and the lightning edged it’s way nearer to the shore.
I reached the pier, and asked, “What am I supposed to be doing? What do You want me to do?”
“As much as I am a God of the surprises and of the suddenlies, I am a God of the processes. Relax. Rest.”
After I heard this, I noticed the storm fast approaching so I hurried my way back to the tent. The storm wound up passing over us without a drop of rain until later that night, but what I heard in my head remained
heavy in my heart. I was reminded of a BSW session when Jenn Johnson spoke on rest. “Remember: Rest is not the absence of work, but the presence of peace in all the work.”
And now, I’m at peace. Every time I think about these questions about my future, I remind myself that He is a God of the processes.
Oh, and the next day my friends and I were at North Beach in Corpus Christi and I got stung by a tiny little jellyfish on my foot and that’s my excuse for naming this post directly after a Friends episode.
I am on the leadership team at Living Word Church in San Antonio, TX. The views expressed in this blog do not necessarily reflect the views and beliefs held at Living Word Church.